When Obasanjo And Jonathan Farted In Otuoke Church By Tunde Odesola

Written in 1953, “The things men do” is the title of one of the 90 thrillers by English novelist, James Hadley Chase. His novels were very popular in European markets with France leading the pack just as far-flung Russia was not left out. Chase was a renowned name in Africa and Asia, too. Curiously, however, his works failed to make an impact in the US as his descriptive knack seemed unconvincing to American readers. To think that Americans, on whose soil, Chase situated most of his novels, would reject him, highlights the title of another work of his, “The way the cookie crumbles,” and emphasises the helplessness of man against life’s vagaries.

It’s unlikely you’ve caught people having sex in a church. Or have you? I haven’t either. But I broke the story of a soldier who raped a young girl in a church at the Capital area of Osogbo in 2007. This was during the killings and arson that rocked the announcement of Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola by the Independent National Electoral Commission as the re-elected Governor of Osun State. The soldier was a member of the battalions deployed to restore peace in Osun. However, his idea of peace was to use his piss organ insanely by yanking a young girl off a commercial motorcycle at a roadblock, dragging her to a church nearby and raping her. The stories and a feature I did on the ignobility earned the testosterone-soggy soldier a sacking. But as terrible as sex in a church is, I’ve never experienced farting in a church before until last week.

 From ages past, the church has been under intense attack from the enemy. A 15th Century German preacher, Martin Luther, captures the blitzkrieg in these words, “For where God built a church, there the Devil would also build a chapel.” As “The things men do” makes “The way the cookie crumbles” inevitable, the need for the inviolability of the church, according to Luther, remains a task to be pursued always by men of good conscience. But will man allow the church to remain the house of God, and not the house of politics? What transpired in Otuoke between the all-knowing farmer of Ota and the fisherman from Ogbia LGA of Bayelsa, last Sunday, shows that man won’t stop to trade and fart in the house of God soon.

In December 2013, former President Olusegun Obasanjo wrote a vicious 18-page letter titled, ‘Before it is too late,’ to Jonathan, accusing him of heavy-duty corruption, shielding an alleged drug baron in the Senate, ethnicity, clamping down on the opposition, training snipers, shielding murderers, driving away foreign investors, among others. Baba Iyabo roared in the letter, “Nigeria is bleeding and the haemorrhage must be stopped… Corruption has reached the level of impunity…The serious and strong allegation of non-remitting of about $7bn from the NNPC to the Central Bank occurring from export of some 300,000 barrels per day, amounting to $900m a month, to be refined and with refined products of only $400m returned and Atlantic Oil loading about 130,000 barrels sold by Shell and managed on behalf of NPDC with no sale proceeds paid into NPDC account is incredible. The allegation was buttressed by the letter of the Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria to you…This allegation will not fly away by non-action, cover-up, denial or bribing possible investigators…”

Obasanjo thundered, “Presidential assistance for a murderer to evade justice and presidential delegation to welcome him home can only be in bad taste generally but particularly to the family of the victims. Or, as it is viewed in some quarters, is he being recruited to do for you what he did for Abacha in the past?…Allegation of keeping over 1,000 people on political watch list rather than criminal or security watch list and training snipers and other armed personnel secretly and clandestinely acquiring weapons to match for political purposes like Abacha and training them where Abacha trained his own killers, if it is true, cannot augur well for the nation…”

Last week, newspapers were awash with the stories of Obasanjo in Otuoke, where he paid a two-day visit to ex-President Goodluck Jonathan and his family, and also inaugurated some projects established by the Governor Seriake Dickson-led state government. Addressing the vicar of the church, Rt. Rev. James Oruwari, Obasanjo said, “What touched me most in this short gathering are the children coming forward and singing the welcome song and dressed in the attire of different cultures, different tribes and different linguistic groups in Nigeria.” He said the cultural display by the children underpins the reconciliation homily given by Oruwari. The Balogun Owu then delivered a punchline, “Unless we preach peace, we teach and practise reconciliation, we will have no peace. And unless we have peace, we will not have development; and unless we have development, we will not have growth and if we do not have growth, we will not come out of poverty… whatever we are, wherever God has brought us to be in this country, what is important is the oneness of Nigeria…”

This political gospel according to Saint Matthew Aremu Okikiola Olusegun Obasanjo is nonsense. What an uninventive way to lap up one’s vomit! What an impudent god – to hang a pulpy Jonathan on the cross in 2013, put a crown of thorns on his head, spear him and strip him naked, only for this same tin god to crawl back to the cross with gold, frankincense, myrrh and halo, announcing the resurrection of his devil on the cross.” Reconciliation is now more important than recovering the questionable wealth allegedly traced to the Jonathan family and making them answerable? Where did Obasanjo bury peace and oneness in 2015? Sophistry: reconciliation, peace, oneness, development, growth. Where’s justice, Baba Iyabo? What’s the basic condition of democracy if not justice? Why is Nigeria a hell if not because our laws don’t work? You formed a movement to get ‘justice’ for Nigerians against the misrule of the directionless Muhammadu Buhari administration, but embraced the Jonathan you described as the lord of corruption? Has Jonathan been absolved of the allegations Obasanjo accused him of?

Jonathan also preached unity after Obasanjo finished his address. He called on Nigerians to embrace oneness and unity. Expressing delight over the visit, Jonathan said, “It is a unique opportunity. Ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo promised that he was going to visit my village when I visited his hometown after leaving office. But I didn’t know it was going to come at this time…

“I pray that as we progress in this country, ONE DAY, ALL CHURCHES AND MOSQUES SHOULD BRING CHILDREN AND DO THIS KIND OF DANCE SO THAT WE ALL KNOW THAT THE MESSAGE OF UNITY SHOULD BE CARRIED ON.” Haba! Uncle Jona! All my life, I’ve never heard a more unconvincing statement than this – all churches and mosques bringing children to dance…! What dance? PalongoPalongo for national unity!?

A former Chairman, Nigeria Union of Journalists, Osun State Council, Ayoade Adedayo, once told the tale of drunk in his Ora-Igbomina hometown. At Easter, it was customary for Christians to announce the symbolic resurrection of Jesus Christ by shouting at 12am, “Jesus has risen!” This could be done by anyone as soon as it was 12am. On a particular Easter Monday, the man, who had been drinking all morning, slept but jerked awake up around 7pm. He staggered to the window, cleared his throat and shouted, “Jesu jinde o! (Jesus has risen!)”  A woman next door retorted, “Kei jinde o, lo re sun pada! (He has not resurrected, go back to sleep!). I love Oyinlola and Donald Duke’s wish to have Nigeria reordered but having Obasanjo as the harbinger of the wish is like building an architectural masterpiece with snowflakes; it will soon melt away.

Metuh’s Trial: Dasuki In Court, Jonathan Missing

A former National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki, has arrived a Federal High Court to testify as a defence witness in the ongoing trial of former spokesperson of the Peoples Democratic Party, Olisa Metuh.

Mr. Dasuki’s appearance followed an order of the Federal High Court for a subpoena to be issued on him, through the directorate of the State Security Service, SSS.

The same order was issued on former Nigeria president, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan who for the second time has refused to honour the court order.

Mr. Dasuki has been in the custody of the SSS for over a year despite court orders for his release. He is being prosecuted separately for alleged mismanagement of funds while in office.

The Federal High Court’s directive for the SSS to present him in court was also in obedience to a September 29 directive of the Appeal Court.

Details later……..

Jonathan Blasts Buhari For Linking Him To Maina’s Return

Former Nigeria President, Goodluck Jonathan has described as “absurd” attempts by the current administration to link him to the scandalous return to the country and reinstatement into a senior position in public service of Abdulrasheed Maina.

According to Jonathan, the fact that efforts were being made to connect him to the scandal underscored how “uncoordinated and rudderless” the Buhari administration has become.

Spokesperson to the former President, Ikechukwu Eze said this on Wednesday night.

“Are they saying it is President Jonathan that flew him back into Nigeria and promoted him in two levels ahead of where he was as at 2013 when he fled the from civil service?” 

He added, “They should stop insulting Nigerians or seeing them as fools.

Maina, who was declared wanted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC on allegations of courting billions in public funds for his own use when he headed the Pension Reform Task Force, was mysteriously recalled to the workforce during the weekend.

The pension funds scandal broke out during the last administration of Jonathan and the government took disciplinary steps against Maina by dismissing him from service.

Maina was an assistant director at the time of his dismissal.

The presidency, in a statement by Garba Shehu Wednesday night, said top officials of the Jonathan administration benefitted from the funds Mr. Maina allegedly stole from pension funds.

Jonathan’s spokesperson said the Buhari administration officials should waste little time in bringing out any evidence of connivance between Jonathan and Maina if they have it.

He added, “There’s no need to warn that they will bring evidence out or that everything will be revealed on a later date.

“They should present the evidence to Nigerians now.

“The Maina family spoke about how he returned to the country and they made it very clear that Buhari officials were the ones that orchestrated his return.”

Source: Premium Times

Breaking News: Jonathan Dares Court, Refuses To Appear As Witness

A new twist has again greeted the ongoing trial of former Peoples Democratic Party Spokesperson, Olisa Metuh as former President Goodluck Jonathan refused to honour order of Justice Okon Abang.

Justice Okon Abang of the Federal High Court, Abuja, yesterday, gave an order summoning the former president to appear before him today.

The summon which was in line with a ruling of the Court of Appeal in Abuja that faulted earlier refusal to grant Metuh’s request for subpoena to be issued against Dasuki.

However, reasons for the ex-president’s absence from court could not be ascertained.

Metuh is currently facing charges for allegedly receiving the sum of N400m from former National Security Adviser, NSA, Col Sambo Dasuki (rtd) in the build up to the 2015 presidential election.

Justice Abang said: “Indeed, at the close of business, yesterday (Monday) being October 23, 2017, precisely at about 3.59 pm, the registrar forwarded to the court in chamber a subpoena to compel former President Goodluck Jonathan to appear in court to testify at the instance of the first defendant (Metuh).

Falana To Obasanjo, Jonathan: Your Advice to Buhari Over IPOB Is Needless

A human rights lawyer, Femi Falana, has criticized two former presidents, Olusegun Obasanjo and Goodluck Jonathan, over their advice to President Muhammadu Buhari on how to tackle the tensions caused by the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB).

Falana called on Obasanjo to apologise to Nigerians over the deployment of the military, to invade communities under his administration.

Obasanjo had said: “I don’t see anything wrong in that (Buhari meeting with Kanu). I would not object to that; if anything, I would encourage it. I would want to meet Kanu myself and talk to people like him; people of his age and ask, ‘What are your worries?”

Reacting, the legal luminary said: “In calling for a dialogue between President Buhari and Mr. Kanu, former President Obasanjo ought to have apologised publicly for the military invasions of Odi in Bayelsa State and Zaki Biam in Benue State ordered by him.

“The basis of the call should have been explained since President Obasanjo charged Niger Delta militants, leaders of ethnic militias and separatist movements with treason, which led to their prolonged detention in prison custody.

“Convinced that former President Obasanjo has realised that the criminalisation of such agitation did not achieve its objective, his suggestion for a dialogue should be seriously considered by President Buhari and the South-East governors.”

The Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN) also faulted Jonathan, for calling for a meeting of the Council of State, to resolve the crisis caused by the secessionist group.

“For goodness sake, why was such a meeting not called before soldiers were deployed in the Niger Delta to deal with militants? Did President Jonathan call any meeting before deploying soldiers all over the country for the 2015 general elections in defiance of the judgments of the Federal High Court and the Court of Appeal?

“Instead of suggesting irrelevant meetings, the root causes of the increasing loss of faith in the corporate existence of Nigeria by unemployed youths and other poverty-stricken people should be urgently addressed by the ruling class.

“As a matter of urgency, the underdevelopment of the nation caused by the mindless corruption and criminal diversion of public funds by unpatriotic public officers on our hapless people should be addressed,” he added.


Dickson, Jonathan Inseparable, PDP Tells Detractors

The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in Bayelsa State has condemned, in the strong term, attempts by some persons to cause disaffection between former President Goodluck Jonathan and Governor Henry Seriake Dickson.


Chairman of the party in the state, Sir Cleopas Moses, in a statement released, in Yenagoa, on Tuesday, frowned at the negative interpretation of Gov. Dickson’s patriotic statement during the 2017 Isaac Boro remembrance day celebration last week.


According to him, the governor was quoted out of context by mischief makers who are bent on destroying the existing cordial and enviable relationship between Dickson and Jonathan who remains the leader of the party.


Moses asserted that Dickson’s unalloyed loyalty and respect for the former president remains intact and cannot be doubted, as it has over the years become stronger by virtue of his commitment and disposition.


He explained that the governor’s remark was purely aimed at calling on Bayelsans holding public offices within and outside the state to work together and drag meaningful development to the state through effective collaboration with the state government for the collective good of Bayelsa and the Ijaw nation.


The Bayelsa PDP boss ‎called on members of the party in the state and the general public to disregard the antics of the self-seeking politicians and armchair commentators who are only out to celebrate evil.



Source: Sun

Jonathan: Controversy Over Buhari’s Letter Calling Osinbajo Coordinator Unnecessary

Chairman of the Nigerian Bar Association, NBA, Minna Chapter, Taidi Jonathan, has said the controversy surrounding the letter transmitted by President Muhammadu Buhari to the National Assembly is “unnecessary.”

Recall that there has been outrage over the letter Buhari transmitted to the National Assembly that Acting President, Yemi Osinbajo should coordinate the affairs of the country on his behalf.

Jonathan noted that the phrase asking the Vice-President to coordinate the affairs of the country, should not attract any controversy.

Addressing newsmen in Minna, Niger State he stressed that what mattered was that the letter was transmitted as required by the law.

Jonathan said, “The law is very clear about this. When the president is not in, the Vice President steps in. Buhari is not in and Prof. Yemi Osinbajo is the acting President. That is all.
“The controversy over the content of the letter or the choice of words is needless.”
“Efforts should be geared towards supporting Osibanjo and wishing the President quick recovery; Nigerians want good leadership and there is no vacuum.”