What Makes A Good Relationship?

Sex & Life

By Damilola Ojenike

A ‘good adult relationship’ means different things to different people. And there are many different kinds of relationships. The couple relationship may be the most important one in our society. It is often the main relationship in people’s lives; it is the basis of a family (and this is the place where most of us learn about adult love, about negotiation, about how to change and how to compromise), and it is often an economic unit.

What does a good relationship need?

It will vary from one person to another, but most people would probably agree that respect, companionship, mutual emotional support, sexual expression, economic security and, often, child rearing are all important parts of an adult relationship.

  1. Acceptance

Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons and test your sanity. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all. First, you make the commitment to accepting them completely.

  1. Respect

Once the chase is over and we’ve gotten the prize, we often just forget about our partner’s feelings and needs. In lasting relationships, both partners value each other and take care with their words, actions, and behaviors.

  1. Vulnerability

If you’re not willing to share what’s going on with you or what you need from your partner, you’re not going to get what you need. Yet, as men and women too—out of shame or a habit built over a lifetime of bottling up our feelings—don’t want to let anyone else in on what’s going on with us.

  1. Trust and Honesty

You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. You will have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Trust and honesty take practice and earned one step at a time.

  1. Empathy

Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn’t about trying to fix your partner’s concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them.

  1. Kindness

Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them.

  1. Commitment

You have to be committed to your partner, yes. But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you’re likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently.

  1. Forgiveness

You will be offended and feel hurt many times throughout a relationship. The key is to forgive quickly, let go of grudges, and start over each day.

  1. Compromise

It may sound clichéd, but giving up on firm positions, unbendable views of the world, and what each of you want to do independently of the other person is another important step to lasting love.

  1. Affection

After some times in relationship, we often forget to show love and affection towards our partners. Affection can be as simple as touching, holding, or kissing your partner for no reason at all. It’s a warm embrace, a light touch, a loving word, or any other small way you can show your partner that you love them.

  1. Appreciation

We all take our partners for granted sometimes. If you can regularly remind yourself how lucky you are and how valuable your partner is, and tell them so, you will boost the happiness and longevity of your relationship.

  1. Validation

Most of the time, people don’t really understand us. Everyone has different opinions. Validating your partner shows them that you’re on their side. When you understand and accept what they say, they feel fully seen, heard, and accepted.

Relationships can be difficult. Focusing on external qualifiers make it even harder. But successful relationships require something much deeper than shared interests or physical attraction. Maintaining a healthy, happy relationship requires you to make daily choices that leave your ego behind and act in the best interest of your relationship rather than just yourself

SEX AND LIFE: Virginity And Its Pride

By Damilola Ojenike

Virginity is a state whereby a person has never engaged in sexual intercourse. There are cultural practices and religious traditions that place special values and significance on this state, predominantly towards unmarried females, which are usually associated with notions of honour, worth and personal purity. Like chastity, the concept of virginity has traditionally involved sexual abstinence.

The concept ‘Virginity’ usually involves moral or religious issues and can have consequences in terms of social status and interpersonal relationships. In the days of old, virginity has social implications and had significant legal implication in most societies/cultures, but it has little or no legal consequences in most cultures in the world of today – why? Because the society has lost its core value.

Although, virginity has historically been correlated with purity, many feminine scholars believe that it is a myth. It is believed that in the olden days, virginity was a thing held in high regard in societies and it was a basis of a societal cores and values that its hold in high regards in most families, as well as a thing of joy for the woman (lady), her family and the society she belongs to.

Most cultures believe that a lady must keep her virginity till marriage so as to avoid problems in her marriage. The Yoruba especially, believe that you must not be sexually promiscuous, as sex defines a covenant with a man you sleep with and, in which many health issues may protrude from.

It can be argued that some of popular pregnancy related issues amongst other problems in this new age are results of promiscuity. The Yoruba culture believes that you must be a virgin before you are given out in marriage. Losing one’s virginity brings shame, disgrace, insult, reproach to the family and causes infidelity now rampant in marriages.

Infact, the first sexual intercourse by a female is considered to be an important personal milestone. The occasion is at times seen as the end of innocence, integrity, or purity.

All major religions have moral codes covering issues of sexuality, morality and ethics. However, the impact of religious teaching has at times been limited. For example, most religions disapprove of premarital sex, albeit widely pronounced. Islam is one of the two major religions in Nigeria and considers extramarital sex to be sinful and forbidden.

Premarital sex in some muslim societies, even if not falling within legal standards of proof, may result in personal shame and loss of family honour.

Christianity however is not a fan of premarital sex too. Paul the apostle expressed the view that a person’s body belongs to God and its God’s temple. However, he stated that sexual relations are expected between a married couple.

Choosing to remain a virgin until marriage is a respectable personal decision for both male and female.

There are many good reasons for pledging to wait until marriage to have sex including health reasons, protecting the sanctity of sex, and honouring a special commitment to someone who is significant in your life (your spouse). Knowing that you are a virgin saves you a lot of stress, diseases, facing the possibility of an abortion, or being forced to start a family before you are ready for marriage.

Virginity is a personal thing and should only be disclosed to people you completely trust. Surround yourself only with people who respect your decision. Gradually, distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel insecure about your decision or who constantly engages in activities you are not comfortable with.

Remember, the best gift you can give your spouse as a young woman is your virginity. This is golden.

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Sex & Life: Do Nice Girls Finish Last?

Apparently, nice girls just don’t get it. That’s why they are single or in a dead-end relationships.

Being called “nice” used to be considered a good thing. But in our eat or be eaten world, nice girls are often put on the back burner in favour of more exciting, mysterious, and even dramatic girls. Most guys are drawn to X-girls who will make their heart race and keep them on their toes, unfortunately “nice” girls don’t exactly do that. They are the type of girls that will travel to go spend a weekend at their own expense, do homely things, all with the thought that she’s investing in the joint future with her guy.

They do not get angry when a guy doesn’t buy them a birthday present, or Vals gift. They are mostly contented just to support their guy until he achieves his aims in life. Nice girls looking for love just aren’t getting it right. They’re not asking for what they want, they don’t have the strength or the balls to get out of bad relationships and will generally accept a man’s bull shit for as long as she can take it without speaking up. As a guy, “while bad girls can be exciting, they’re usually only worth it in the short term”.

If you can find a good girl and turn her into a sexual animal, you may have just found the perfect woman. One truth is that men respond well to naughty girls. Here are some reasons why nice girls come up short in love.

  1. They are boring

You always know what to expect with a nice girl. She always does the right thing.

  1. They let guys walk over them

Guys have to push girls’ button. They’ll do it on purpose to test her limits. But the nice girl doesn’t have any, as soon as a guy realizes that, he loses all respect for her and its downhill from there.

  1. They give guys too many chances

Instead of cutting a betraying guy out of her life, the nice girls will give him another chance. And another; and another. Whether he deserves them or not, she always thinks it’s her duty to let him prove he can change, when it would be better for both of them if she just walked away.

  1. They don’t take risks

Not only will the nice girl probably not ask a guy out, she’ll rarely venture far outside of her comfort zone at all. She’ll have a hard time meeting new guys, or intriguing them at all because she rather be nice than interesting.

  1. They think being “Nice” is enough

They rely so much on their image, as the nice girl next door that they forget guys like girls with personality.

No guy wants to date someone who is just nice. They want a little edge.

  1. They’re afraid to step on toes

She and her friend have their eye on the same guy, but the nice girl will always bow out gracefully rather than fight for what she wants.

In most and almost absurd ways, bad girls get the good guys. Most of their approach and technique is that they know how to find quality men, know how to position them. They know what men actually want and most importantly, they are ‘sexperts’.

Do not get me wrong. Being nice is good, for the records at least, but to enjoy being nice, you need to stand up for what you want. Being nice does not mean you should be gullible to know what is right and absolutely comet.

Five Shocking Ways You Can Get Pregnant Without Having Sex

Technically it’s possible to get pregnant without having sex, even if you’re a virgin. That’s the submission of experts.

They warn that if you’re not planning on having a baby anytime soon, it’s important to know what kind of sexual behavior might put you at risk of getting pregnant.

Gynaecologists say basically, it’s very possible to get pregnant if semen comes into contact with your vagina at any point.

Here are some of the ways you can get pregnant without trying…

• Dry humping: This is the process whereby two people repeatedly move up and down and back and forth on top of each other fully clothed or missing various pieces. But the penis must not come in contact with the vagina without some sort of fabric separating them. But even at that, gynecologists warn that a woman can still get pregnant without being penetrated or even undressed. According to sexperts, it’s possible for a woman to become pregnant from dry humping – even if she hasn’t removed her underwear! This is because sperm can soak through lingerie. So, know from now on that grinding (aka dry sex/humping) really puts you at risk of accidental pregnancy, although it is rare.

• Breastfeeding: A popular myth is that active or exclusive breastfeeding prevents new mothers from conceiving a second time around. However, physicians warn that this isn’t true! They say that contrary to whatever you may have been told, breastfeeding is NOT a natural contraceptive and it cannot decrease your chances of becoming pregnant soon after giving birth.

• No ejaculation: Many couples think that using the “pull out” method will stop them from having a baby, but you can still get pregnant, even if a man hasn’t ejaculated at all. This is because the pre-ejaculation fluid that oils the penis during foreplay contains a small amount of semen which can fertilize an egg.

• Rhythm or calendar method: Another popular sex misconception is that a woman can’t get pregnant if a couple abstains from sex when she’s in the most “fertile” part of her cycle. But physicians say a woman can, indeed, can get impregnated at any point during the month, including when she’s on her period.

• Using contraception: Get this clear: no form of contraception is 100 per cent effective. Therefore, it’s still possible to conceive despite being on the pill or using a condom.


Source: Punch

Fani-Kayode buys brand new 2014 Range Rover car for girlfriend {+Photo}

Fani-Kayode buys brand new 2014 Range Rover car for girlfriend
Fani-Kayode buys brand new 2014 Range Rover car for girlfriend
Report according Linda Ikeji in her blog suggests that the media director of President Goodluck Jonathan Peoples Democratic Party Campaign Organisation, Chief Femi Fan-Kayode has just bought a brand new Range Rover 2014 model for her new found lover Precious Chikwendu.

According to the blogger, Precious confirmed her ownership of the brand new Range Rover, but declined to disclose who bought it for her.

Precious Chikwendu has been residing with Chief Femi Fani-Kayode in his Abuja resident, Linda stated.


#GuberPoll Live Update: LEAKED!!! HAPPENING NOW! White Hilux Car, With Police, GEJ’s SA, Kingsley Kuku, Distributing Money To INEC’s Staffs – SHOCKING DETAILS

By Labi Obaseki

2015 Election

As the much-awaited governorship and house of Assembly elections holds today, electoral activities in Igbokoda community of Ilaje Local Government Area in Ondo State, may not hold as stipulated by the electoral act, following the discovery of a white Hilux Car, distributing money for the ruling People’s Democratic Party(PDP), with the influence of the Nigerian police at the scene.

Nigerians casting their votes, during the recently concluded presidential election
PHOTO: Nigerians casting their votes, during the recently held presidential election

According to a reliable source(name withheld), a notable Nigerian politician and the Special Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan on Niger Delta Affairs and the Chairman of the Presidential Amnesty Programme, Kingsley Kuku was among the occupants of the Hilux car.

” Right now in Igbokoda in Ilaje Local Government, of Ondo State, there is a white Hilux Car with registration number HG 507 HO1 distributing money for the PDP with the influence of some police officers there, the occupants of the vehicle includes a Special Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan on Niger Delta Affairs , Kingsley Kuku, he said

More details shortly…

Source: NEWSAT247

GRUESOME!!! PHOTOS, Lover Pours Acid On Girlfriend, Says She Is Responsible For… SHOCKING DETAILS

22-year-old Ghanaian lady identified as Anita Otema has lost her left eye and parts of her body disfigured after her 28 year old ex-boyfriend Kwabena Fosu allegedly attacked her with acid at her Abeka Lapaz residence.

Anita narrating her ordeal on Ghana’s JoyFM, said that Kwabena popularly known as Abodeman stormed their house where they both lived as a couple and attacked her in the night with the corrosive substance after Ghana acidKwabena’s pastor allegedly accused her of being responsible for his (Kwabena) recurring ill-health and told him she was making money spiritually through the illnesses

Kwabena has been on the run since the incident.

See photos below:

Man pours acid on girlfriend

Man pours acid on girlfriend

Man pours acid on girlfriend


This is wow! How I met my husband: Fashola’s wife shares their sweet love story

Dame Abimbola Fashola, wife of Lagos State governor, Babatunde Fashola, in a chat with City People magazine shares her love story, and tells how she met her husband at the age of 27.

Fashola and Wife
Fashola and Wife

Abimbola Fashola, wife of Lagos State governor, Babatunde Fashola, in a chat with City People magazine shares her love story, and tells how she met her husband at the age of 27.

According to her, they were introduced by the governor’s father, while she served at her best friend’s engagement party.

Read what she said below:

“I met my husband at age 27. That was at my best friend’s engagement then. I was serving and making sure everyone was okay and well taken care of, attending to people and all that. And then his father saw me and then said ‘I have a son and I will like you to meet my son.’ So I said no problem sir. He said ‘good, my son will soon come in.’

“When he came, we introduced ourselves. We met. We exchanged our numbers and that was it. We took it off from there. He was cool, he looked cool-headed. He was friendly. He had no airs about him. He was a simple fellow. He was already working then as a lawyer.

“He was at Sofunde, Belgore & Co. He clicked with my sisters too. He was always going to parties with them. He was bubbling with them. I didn’t use to go to parties with them. Since my sisters accepted him, I had no choice but to accept him,” she said.

Totally romantic!

Read:Shocking Revelation! My experience in past 16 years – Jonathan reveals|| says he has been in……..

Read: #GubarPoll2015: Read what Obasanjo asked Nigerians to do, as he stylishly campaign in the market…

Read: #GubarPoll2015: Here is the President-elect’s schedule for the week||As he leads APC’s battle for Lagos, Ekiti, Oyo, others

Read: Aftermath #March28Poll: Here is Obama’s message to Jega

Source: PULSE

#PresidentialPollResult From States INEC[Update4]: Buhari finishes Jonathan in Kaduna — See INEC Final Results

Muhammadu Buhari, The man to take over Aso Rock on March 29
The Presidential result for 17 local government areas ‎released in Kaduna state so far shows that General Muhammadu Buhari of the All Progressive Congress is progressively leading polling 836,728 votes as against President Goodluck Jonathan who polled 267,169 votes.

In Sanga LGA APC polled 12,817 while PDP polled 22,838 votes.

In Soba LGA, APC polled 61,656 while PDP polled 1,998.

In Jaba LGA APC polled 5342 votes while PDP polled 18,314 votes.

In Kaura LGA APC polled 7,101 votes while PDP polled27,502 votes.

In Sabon Garin LGA APC polled 71,022 votes PDP polled 10,845.

In Kajuru LGA, APC polled 11,592 while PDP polled 29,292.

In Kudan LGA, APC polled ‎38,177 while PDP polled 2,167.

In Kubau LGA. ACP polled 63,875 while PDP polled 6,377.

Makarfi LGA APC polled 44,241 votes, PDP polled 3500‎ votes.

In Kaduna North LGA APC polled 119,622 votes while PDP polled 16,551 votes.

In Kaduna South LGA APC polled 132,514 while PDP polled 31,820.

In Zangon Kataf LGA APC polled 11,034 while PDP polled 56,799.

In Igabi LGA‎ APC polled 97,841, PDP 7,410.

In Ikara LGA APC polled. 49,146, PDP polled 7,170.

In Kagarko LGA APC polled 16,399 while PDP polled 17,491 votes.

In Birnin Gwari LGA, APC polled 43,926, PDP polled 2,539 votes.

In Giwa LGA, APC polled 50,323 while PDP polled 4,556 votes.

Results from the remaining 5 LGAs were being awaited as at the time of filing this result according to the state Presidential collation officer Professor Jaafar M Kaura.

Source: [email protected]

S-H-O-C-K-I-N-G REVELATION: HOW B’Haram kidnap 400 women In Damask – A MUST READ

JOS BOMBING: One Suspect Arrested, Says Maj.-Gen Olukolade
Director of Defence Information, Maj.-Gen. Chris Olukolade

Boko Haram militants have kidnapped more than 400 women and children from the northern Nigerian town of Damasak that was freed this month by troops from Niger and Chad, Reuters quoted residents as saying on Tuesday.

There was no immediate official confirmation of the figure, but the Islamist group has previously carried out mass kidnappings. Boko Haram in April 2014 adopted over 200 schoolgirls in Chibok.

“They (insurgents) took 506 young women and children (in Damasak). They killed about 50 of them before leaving. We don’t know if they killed others after leaving, but they took the rest with them,” a trader called Souleymane Ali told Reuters in the town.

Troops of the African joint force last week found the bodies of at least 70 people in an apparent execution site under a bridge leading out of Damasak, where the streets remained strewn with debris and burnt-out cars after the fighting.

Ali said his wife and three of his daughters were among those seized.

“Two of them were supposed to get married this year. (Boko Haram) said ‘They are slaves so we’re taking them because they belong to us,’” he said.

Mohamed Ousmane, another trader, said the militants took his two wives and three of their children.

A 40-year-old resident who gave her name as Fana said fighters had rounded up captives in the main mosque before taking them out of town. She said she saved her two children by hiding them in her house.


I Wasn’t Trying To Seduce The President -– Seyi Shay Opens Up At Last [Patience Jonathan Must NOT See These Photos]

Most entertainers have been having fun with President Goodluck Jonathan in recent times and earlier in the week, the President was in Lagos and hanged out with some of these celebrities.

Singer, Seyi Shay was among the entertainers and the pretty diva ‘broke’ the internet with the dress she wore to meet the president at the event.

The picture where the singer, wearing an incredibly short dress, while sitting beside the president, went viral and so many fans and foes have expressed their feelings concerning Seyi’s outfit.

Many people, including celebrities and notable figures such as comedian Wale Gates; social analyst, Omojuwa, took to their social media accounts to express their feelings over her choice of outfit.

However, when Saturday Beats contacted the singer, she explained that she had two outfits for the event and the outfit that caused the stir was what she wore to perform.

She emphasised that she is a respectable lady and was not planning to seduce the president in any way.

Seyi Shay and  President Goodluck Jonathan,
Seyi Shay and President Goodluck Jonathan,

Seyi Shay and Jonathan party“I am a very respectable young lady and I was not in any way trying to seduce the President with the outfit I wore. I had two outfits for the event, one was for my performance and the other was worn after I performed. The dress I was pictured in with the President was what I wore during my performance.

“I came on stage and greeted everyone according to their culture and I did the same for Mr. President. He was impressed and he asked where and how I knew how to greet in his native dialect and I said I learnt it. That was what brought about the giggling and smiles in the picture. I’m a performer and what I do on stage doesn’t reflect my everyday life. I had two outfits on that day and it was a youth event. Who wouldn’t feel overwhelmed meeting the President? Well, I did and I felt honoured because it is not every day you get to meet the president of your country,” she said.

Seyi said her fans should expect her much anticipated album at the last quarter of the year.

“I am busy working on my album and it would be out by the last quarter of the year. I promise not to disappoint my fans. I would deliver because I love you all,” she said.